how to ROCK your curly (and maybe even gray) hair

Step 1: Get a good DRY cut. Preferably from someone who’s experienced cutting curly hair DRY. Without combing it out, without wetting it down first.

Step 2: THROW AWAY YOUR COMB or brush.

Step 3: HYDRATE your hair.

Step 4: Be patient.

how to rock your curls

This video is pretty good for what you need to do once you get a good cut.

For me, personally, I just use whatever shampoo I want (though I’m sure the No Poo is what I should be using) as well as Aussie MOIST Conditioner to save some money. But I ABSOLUTELY use the Devacurl Gel and will forever and always, amen.

• I never use a comb or brush. EVER.

• I apply loads of conditioner to sopping wet hair and that’s the ONLY TIME I detangle– and only via use of my fingers.

• I wet my hair nearly every single day, but I don’t always use shampoo. In fact, I only shampoo twice a week max. However, when I do get it wet, I do ALWAYS use conditioner and the Devacurl gel.

• I NEVER rinse out all the conditioner—I flip my head over in the shower so I’m bending forward and the water gently rolls down my back and onto my head. And while it’s doing that, I’ll gently scrunch my hair so that it’s not sopping wet and so that some of the conditioner does get out (otherwise it tends to build up on my scalp).

• Then, IN THE SHOWER, I apply the Devacurl- just like in the video for the most part though I don’t “smooth” it on as much as the video. I just kinda scrunch it onto my hair, which is VERY wet.

• I NEVER blow dry.

• I rarely use those clips- instead I use a head band, which I don’t take out till completely dry. DO NOT TOUCH HAIR until it’s completely dry (and even then don’t touch much).

If doing all that above, I generally always have awesome hair days! And so can you!


Things have changed even around here since the last time I blogged. That’s what life is about, really: change. Without change, you’re stagnate. And who wants to live life like that? Yet it happens all the time.

All the time.

Fear is an ugly creature that prevents many of us from changing.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of happiness. Fear of solitude. Fear of being even more motherfucking empty.

As if that’s even possible.

When you get to that empty point… where nothing seems to be going your way and you sincerely wonder why the fuck you’re even still alive… that’s when you need change the most. But it’s probably also when you’re most afraid.

I’ve been there, man. I know.

But that won’t help you and I know that too.

You have to find something. Some.Thing. Anything. Quit thinking about the shit you can’t change. Instead think of the stuff you can change. And do it. Change. Make the change.

It’s worth it.

You’re worth it.

Truly you are.

Not on the Rag but Still Feeling It

i feel ashamed that the thought of this never even crossed my mind.

Red's Wrap

Is there possibly a more inelegant phrase than ‘she’s on the rag?’

Maybe. I’ll search for it later.

My mother told me that when she was a teenager growing up in a small town during the Depression, she and her sister actually used rags that were washed and bleached and hung out on the clothesline to dry, each rag hand-fed through a wringer washer. Nothing came easy then.  If you were going to be on the rag, you better learn to wash them. Harsh business.

Being on the rag is not a situation for me anymore. One of the many benefits of getting older is being able to wear white pants anytime, not having to rummage through the drawer for a Tampax like I was looking for the last remaining cigarette on earth, the one that would save me from nicotine withdrawal and wanting to kill all my children…

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