the ugly is resurfacing

In a strange, strange place right now…

I’m generally a pretty happy person these days, but then there are moments when the darkness creeps in a bit and right now that darkness is starting to take over.

I don’t like it.

Not one bit.

I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve been waiting for my period to show up for weeks now, certain that today would be the day only for it not to be. My personality becomes extremely short-tempered during this time. I feel and act quite ugly during this time.

I don’t like it.

Not one bit.

Faithfully I take my “happy pills” that have helped me immensely the past several years. It used to be that the darkness would manifest into a monster. Inside and out. It used to be that I had absolutely no control over the monster I would become before getting my period. Because of those happy pills, I have more control. But it’s slipping lately. I feel that control slipping away a little more each and every day.

I don’t like it.

Not one bit.


2 thoughts on “the ugly is resurfacing

  1. Kir Piccini says:

    Yes, I needed to have my dosage tweaked over the summer, because like you, I was feeling more dark days than light ones. I didn’t like it one bit either and no matter the reasons the loss of control of your own feelings is debilitating.

    Take care of you..and come find me if you need me. I want you to see the light.

  2. Sarah Ann says:

    Look after yourself. I wonder if taking care of yourself re: your diabetes is stressing your body in new and different ways. Hope the darkness lifts for you soon.

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