I had one of those dreams again last night. You know, one of the ones that you can’t shake. If it wasn’t so fucking disturbing (the content), I wouldn’t be so … disturbed by it. But I am. And I don’t want to broadcast what it involved because it’s really disturbing to me. Yet, I’m afraid that if I don’t write it down (at least), it’ll stay that much longer. And it’s such a disturbing dream that I really don’t want to remember it. Ever. Go away already.
A B C.
1 2 3.
There’s a video out there of a man cutting up a watermelon in like two minutes flat. He cuts it in half, takes one half and quickly inserts slices into the sides of the melon, then quickly slices the eatable part. Then when he’s done with that, he takes a big plastic bag and quickly, and quite effortlessly, gets all the watermelon pieces into the bag. Boom. Onto the other half of the melon, rinse and repeat.
Well, I call bullshit. It’s not as easy and effortless as he makes it seem. I tried it and failed. Badly.
- you need an incredibly sharp knife
- you need great strength to shove the knife into the melon to make slices from the outside in
- it’s just not easy to do and if you think it is you’re as dumb as me